The key to implementing this philosophy is communication, and the best time to communicate with your partner is before the baby arrives. To me, this part of the agreement required dispelling many archaic and ridiculous beliefs about the role of fathers. I had to accept that a father could be as good a parent for a baby and a child as a mother. I had to trust him to be. And I had to let go. He`s been a fantastic parent since day one. Happy parents are a happy family. This agreement can help. In other words, the conversations that go into creating a „baby-prenup” are the ones that expected parents should certainly have. Too often, in the nine months leading up to the birth, we whisper about baby names and children`s bedrooms, and about questions like, „Do we go with the jogging stroller or with the one that folds in a small suitcase?” We forget (or perhaps in denial) the daily work of caring for a newborn – feeding plans, bottle washes, relentless tasks that quickly overload us. This may be one of the reasons why we often fall into outdated gender roles and/or feel an imbalance in work – according to a Gottman Institute study, 67% of couples are very unhappy with each other in the first three years of their baby life. Before you go to your lawyer for help, stop.
Unlike marital diversity, a baby-takeup is more of an organizational and relationship economy strategy that parents adapt to their needs rather than a real legal document. Couples sign a marriage to protect their fortunes if they marry. And now some parents are inspired by it and are using this concept to create baby nuptials. You`ve heard of Prenups before the wedding, but have you heard about the diversity of babies? Some couples would have chosen to establish pre-birth contracts that identify each partner`s responsibilities. So it makes sense for you and your partner to be on the same side when you are both in a peaceful and collaborative state. (Read: If you swing a screaming baby at 4am, this is not the best time to discuss who is best placed to organize burp towels.) And it`s wise to write a plan knowing it`s malleable – you can reassess things if you learn more about your baby`s needs. It`s also important to remember that you and your partner are human, and things will inevitably appear to prevent each of you from maintaining your end of prenupe from time to time, says Mayer. And if prenup is „too rigid,” it can lead to more stress, says Klow. Before we become parents, we are individuals with our own lives. However, this can quickly erode after the baby is born.
As part of your baby-nup contract, you need to get together and discuss key aspects of your life that you can`t give up. This is what I call „non-negotiable.” This means self-confidence and taking into account one`s own needs. You need to meet with your calendar to find out who is receiving your ME time and when. Your baby has two parents and you both deserve that your personal needs are met to be the best version of yourself for the family. Prospective parents will have to turn away from baby equipment and focus on one of the most important conversations of their lives — what it will be like to be a child and what they expect from each other. There are so many things to do to prepare for the upcoming arrival of your little ones: set up the nursery, fill the diapers, buy baby clothes and much more. But some parents-to-be add a new unconventional item to their checklist before the baby. The baby-prenupe clearly expresses the educational responsibilities of each person. If you`re wondering why two people want it, think of the crazy confusion that typically follows childbirth.